Roadblocks and Speedbumps are all part of the path....buckle up!

We've gone through a lot of change in our household in the last two years.  First with Chris losing his job, then moving and moving yet again.  I think back to the day I got the phone call that Chris had been let go.  September 22, 2009.  I was sitting in the van watching Matthew at soccer practice.  Isn't it funny how certain moments in your life you can remember all the details.  Then there are other moments that you just can't even remember when it actually happened but you know it did.  Crazy if you ask me.  God I think decides what we will and won't remember.  I think that the more difficult challenges in life he wants us to remember because if we are truly Christians and following him, these are the moments that remind us that he is ultimately in control. 

I think back to those four months when Chris was out of work and to this day, I have no idea how we made it through.  By the grace of God and love of family, we stayed strong. 

Chris and I have endured a lot of roadblocks or speedbumps in our marriage.  Between blending families, having been married before and bringing those insecurites into our relationship, and then employment concerns, we've been through it.  It hasn't always been fun but we can say one thing, we have always put God first in our relationship.  While we've endured many bumps in our road, God has always provided for us and shown us how to become a stronger couple for it.

Chris and I have begun a nightly couples devotional together.  We are finding that the more mature we grow in our faith, the more important it is to share our spiritual side with each other.  There was a woman at one of the churches our family attended for many years who I can remember said to me once that she and her husband pray together everyday.  I found that remarkable. 

Chris and I are growing spiritually together and that makes my heart smile.  We always say that we were placed on this path to be together and I truly believe that.  I believe that God placed us in each others lives knowing that we could give the other what they needed.  While God hasn't always made our path easy, he's made us stronger through all those adversities. 

Looking back on our move to Indiana, I can see God's handiwork.  He made the path to getting there smooth.  We were able to secure housing, get Matthew into school and sports, and Chris was given an opportunity to learn yet another side of the waste business.  Chris learning the hauling side was something we never would have thought.  With Chris now having the knowledge of all threee lines of the waste business, he's so marketable.  He's amazing to me.  I'm not sure I completely understand his fascination with trash, but I love that he is passionate about what he does.  I love that he was given the chance to broaden his horizons and challenged to learn something new.  That was all God, not us.  And while I was content living in the midwest, that wasn't where God wanted us to stay.

Chris and I have talked about why God put us in Indiana before moving to Georgia.  We have a theory.  Chris has lived away from his family for many years, me, well, I've always lived less than 10 mins from family.  For me to move ten hours away, that was a lot to wrap my brain around.  But, on the other side of that 10 hours was a short 5 hour drive to my grandparents.  Oh how I loved making weekend trips to my grandparents.  Because of our move to Indiana, I was able to spend more time with them and have a "safety net".  You can imagine my disappointment when I found out we were moving to Georgia.  Now it's more like an 18 hour drive to see my grandparents.

Am I sad by this, of course, but looking at the bigger picture, I think God planned it this way.  We think God moved us to the midwest so that I would be ok with moving away and now that I've done it and tackled that challenge, he's put the next one in my path.  Our move to Georgia.

Our move to Georgia has allowed Chris to come full circle in his career.  He's back on the landfill side with a great company.  And while some days he comes home frustrated and exhausted, he wouldn't change it for the world.  He's happy.  He's challenged.  He's living. 

I sit back and look at my life and while right now I'm finding it challenging to find my nitch here in the south, I ultimatly know, this is where we are supposed to be.  My family is happy.  My family is excited to be here.  My family is content.  I need not be the one that rains on that parade.  Therefore, I need to put my trust in the Lord that I will settle in and be ok with my new environment.  God has already shown me the possiblities.  We've already had more visitors here then we ever did in Indiana.  I've already seen two of my girlfriends as they stopped in on their way to or from Florida.  I even got to see my favorite Mandy and Adam when my brother's family stopped in for lunch one Saturday.  How marvelous.  God has a plan.  God knows what he is doing.  I need to keep the faith and continue to let him guide me. 

"God walks with us.  He scoops us up in His arms or simply sits with us in silent strength until we cannot avoid the awesome recognition that yes, even now, He is here." Gloria Gaither

God has worked his way into the fabric of my life throughout this entire journey.  Moving us to Georgia was all part of that plan.  He even made the path here smooth.  We again were able to secure housing, get Matthew situated, and with a little extra work, found a new church home that we are loving.  God has protected us every step of the way and brought Chris and I stronger in our marriage.  Stronger than we ever felt we could be and yet growing even stronger every day.  We are each others best friends.  There is nothing we wouldn't do for the other.   Who am I to question God's ability or faithfulness to me?

Dear Lord, You are my rock, and I praise You for Your blessings.  But sometimes, I am distraced by the busyness of the day or the demands of the moment.  when I am worried or anxious, Father, turn my thoughts back to You.  Help me to trust Your will, to follow Your commands, and to accept Your peace, today and forever.  Amen.

A Must Read....

  Last Christmas when I was home to Virginia, my mom shared with me a book she thought i'd like, Heaven is for Real.  Well, turns out, she was 100% right.  I strongly urge each of you to go to the bookstore now and pick it up.  It's a quick read and worth the time invested. 

I liked this book for a number of reasons.  It's a wonderful story about a little boy who just happens to be the same age as my Matthew.  About his trip to Heaven, sitting on Jesus' lap, meeting family members, seeing the Angel's wings.  I'm getting goosebumps just imagining how beautiful it really is. 

As parents, we all struggle with explaining to our children what Heaven looks like.  What God might look like and most certainly, what Jesus looks like.  We can find answers in the Bible.  We can find answers at church.  We can find answers by googling Heaven.  But think about it for a second, are those really answers or just assumptions?  Yes, the Bible is full of answers if you take the time to dig into it but at the same time, there is a lot of different interpretations of the Bible.  What you read on your page may appear differently to me.  We hear all the time about people seeing a bright light and  having this wonderful feeling come over them.  I believe this to be partially true.  I believe there is a Heaven and I hope to one day be able to be there.  In reading this little boy's account of what Heaven looks like, I'm excited to see it for myself.  I think there is something to be said about the innocence of children.  Matthew amazed me by taking the time to read the book as well.  I expected some questions and concerns as he read it but the grace of God is wonderful.  Matthew took a different path and was excited himself.  It was one of the most enjoyable conversations I've had with Matthew.  To be able to sit back and discuss what Jesus looks like, for real.  To talk about all the colors of heaven, the holy spirit, our family members, our pets.  AMEN!  I love when I can see God working through Matthew in a way that lights him up. 

A few weeks ago upon finishing the book, I was stuck at the car dealership having some repairs done on the van.  I was frustrated, irritated, and just being snotty about having to spend my day in the repair shop due to recalls that shouldn't have occurred.  And once again, God stepped in to put my attitude in check.  As I was sitting there, two older women were discussing a book regarding a Pastor's trip to Hell.  Of course, I piped in (since a converstation is much more entertaining than watching the news).  I mentioned Heaven is for Real and both ladies immediatly went onto their kindles and downloaded the book.  As we were talking about it, one of the salesmen stopped in the waiting area.  He mentioned he was a Baptist Pastor/Car Salesman.  Kind of an oxymoron if you ask me.  Regardless, the gentleman joined in our converstation curious about both books we were discussing.  Then, he turned to me and asked if there was anything in my book about the children.  I was curious as to why he would ask this, so I questioned him as to why.  He went onto tell me that he and his wife had lost a child and he's always wondered what happened.  I about fell outta my chair.  I told him that he needed to read this book.  I went onto tell him that a few years ago, we lost my nephew.  It was devasting to my brother, his wife, and our entire family.  We had never had to suffer the loss of losing an infant.  I further mentioned that we always wondered the same thing.  Did Parker go to Heaven?  Was there a reason God wanted him in Heaven rather than to be spoiled here on earth?  Well, while I may never know the answer as to why, I do know what happened to Parker.  Jesus loves the little children.  I am 100% confident that Parker is in Heaven having the most wonderful time.  I won't go into exactly what the book says.  I'll tell you exactly the same thing as what I told that salesman.  You NEED to get this book.  It will put your worries and concerns to rest and bring you peace.  With that, the salesman walked away thanking me for this recommendation. 

I realize that I didn't change the world by sharing this book with the salesman but I did touch his heart.  And in that moment, I forgot that I was stuck in the repair shop waiting room.  Instead of being a grump, God pushed me onto another path and showed me that it's not always about me.  Sometimes we are placed in situations for a purpose.  I think my being there was planned before I even knew it so that I could bring peace to a hurting father's heart and maybe even a little glimmer of hope that his child is ok.

To my astonishment, the TODAY show had the entire Burpo family on yesterday.  Evidently, this book has hit high marks on the NY Times Bestseller list.  I smiled when I saw them on the tv.  Matthew was even excited.  It got me thinking...we see negative on the tv all the time.  Death, crime, destruction, choas, etc.  It is awesome to see that God's word is making headlines.  I think many times we forget that we are still children of God.  He's our ultimate Father.  It's a shame that too often we forget that everything is in his control and that he has everything under control.  I was impressed that the TODAY showed broached the subject of Heaven. 

All in all, after reading this book, I now can stand firmly in my faith and know, Heaven is for Real.  There isn't a doubt in my mind.  Should I have ever questioned?  Probably not but we are human and often what we can't see or feel leaves us wondering if it is real.  I hope to have many many years left on this earth.  I hope to see Matthew graduate from high school, then college.  To see him get married and to be a Grandma one day (not too soon mind you).  But when it is time for me to meet my Heavenly Father above, I will be so excited.  To meet Jesus, to see God, to experience the glory of Heaven...one day...

The Path is Often Unknown.....

I can remember growing up my parents always making sure we went to church every Sunday.  I recall starting out at the Baptist Church on the corner and then making a move and changing to the United Methodist Church on the other corner.  I'm not sure what made my folks make the decision to move but we've been United Methodists ever since. 

Whenever I make a trip back to Iowa, I always drive past that church and I can remember what it looked like inside.  I can remember the big santuary, the sunday school wing, the bridge from one building to the other over the alley in between, the large fellowship hall where we would often enjoy breakfast, and the huge cross that I can remember sitting inside the lobby before it was installed on the roof.  I can even remember the day I was baptized and the dress I was wearing.  It was shortly before we moved from Iowa to Virginia due to my dad's employment opportunities.  I recall the water running down my long hair and dripping off the ends and getting the back of my dress wet.  At the time, I knew what it meant to be baptized but I don't think that it really hit home until I became an adult.

I've spent most of my life making my own choices, not necessarily God's.  And yes, I regret a lot of those choices.  But, even when I look back, I can see God somewhere within my path.  I've struggled in my faith, not because I don't believe that there is a God and that his son died for our sins but rather, I would suppose you can say, I've been stubborn.

Stubborn to the point where I decided to follow my own path and marry for the excitement of being married rather than for love and happiness.  How foolish wouldn't you say?  Looking back, I can see the error of my ways.  However, God touched that relationship with giving me Matthew.  Matthew is named Matthew for the meaning of the name.  There's no other reason I chose that name for him.  Matthew means, "Gift of the Lord".  That's exactly what he is.  My gift.  My treasure.  Mine to enjoy.  Matthew is the one thing I do not regret about that marriage.  Without Matthew having come into my life, I would have continued on a miserable, unhappy, and lonely path.  I often wonder if God placed Matthew in my life at the exact moment that he did to sort of wake me up.  Jolt me alive.  I'll have to ask him one day...

Since having Matthew in my life, I have seen my spiritual journey turn back to God.  I wouldn't say that I was ever turned away from God, but he wasn't at the forefront of my mind.  It's amazing how once you lift your eyes back up to the Lord that you can immediatly begin seeing (and feeling) the path God wants you on.  Case and point, my husband.  How I ever ended up on the same path as this wonderful man, only God knows.  He has been in my life since Matthew was only a few months old.  Never in my life did I think I deserved someone so perfectly fitted to me.  He is the caramel to my chocolate, the cherry on top of my sundae, the calmness to my insanity.  I love doing life with him.  He's my best friend and how lucky am I to be able to say that I truly am married to my best friend.  He is my support system, my spiritual leader, and my provider.  I've never felt a love like this ever in my life and I can only attribute it to God placing Chris and I in each others paths.  He'll argue with me and tell me that I'm the one that was placed in his path to make him a better person but the way I see it, we both needed each other.  No, our marriage hasn't always been sunshine and roses, who has a marriage like that?  But regardless of how bad any day or moment may be, we know deep in our bones, we have each other, and we have our faith.  I love being married to a man that has strong faith.  I love that every night he takes the time to read a devotional before going to bed.  I love that he often shares these with me.  I love that every morning before he leaves for work, he sits in silence and prays.  I love that I can share my intermost secrets and I love that he prays for me without me even asking him to.  I'm blessed to have such a wonderful companion.

I can think of another instance when my faith was rocked.  Nothing can bring you to your knees quicker than an illness and near death.  In April of 2009, we almost lost my Dad.  He went in for heart surgery to clear several blockages.  I can remember vividly everything about the day he was in surgery and the next day when my world was pratically shattered.  I can remember my mom, sister, older brother and my self sitting upstairs in the surgical waiting area people watching to pass the time.  If there is one thing my family is good at, it's at entertaining ourselves during stressfull moments by people watching.  We were laughing and sharing so as not to think about what was happening behind the big steel doors.  Several hours later, the doctor appeared and said Dad had done great and was in recovery.  A few more hours after that, Dad was placed in an ICU room and we were able to come and see him.  He looked good.  All of us were around his bed laughing and being silly.  We bid him goodnight and off we all went.  The next morning, my mom went up to the hospital to spend the day with him.  I went onto work and planned to head up at lunchtime to take Mom to eat and visit.  I had no idea how the day was going to end up.  It was around 4pm and Mom and I were sitting next to Dad.  He was watching tv, and mom and I were reading.  We had just finished trying to get Dad some jello to eat.  I looked down at my book and the words were gone.  All I could see was a picture of my mom and I standing in the corner by the window with fear in our eyes and I was telling my mom, he's ok, he's ok.  Before I had a minute to take in what was happening, my dad's heart started fluttering and the code blue sirens went off.  Within seconds the room filled with nurses, doctors, people were everywhere.  Where was I?  I was standing in the corner with my mom, by the window, just as the picture had appeared on my book.  All we could see was blue lights flashing, my dad's body lurching under the paddles, and more and more people flooding the room.  We were quickly escorted out and placed outside his room while they worked on my Dad.  It felt like hours and yet, it was only a matter of minutes when they signaled us a thumb's up that he was ok.  I'll never forget the look on my mom's face.  Sheer panic and terror.  I wanted so badly to take that away but I couldn't.  Within a matter of moments, his heart did the same thing and he was jump started again with the paddles.  I couldn't take this.  I wasn't strong enough.  I was scared and I couldn't express that to my mom.  I had to be strong for her.  The evening went from bad to worse.  Since they couldn't keep Dad's heart regulated, they decided to sedate him and put him on a respirator to keep him alive.  He remained like this for 11 days.  Everyday I would make a trip to the hospital after work, take my mother to eat lunch, and I would hang out until Matthew got out of school.  Then, after dinner, Chris would get Matthew settled at home and I would go back up to the hospital to check in with Dad's night nurse and say goodnight to Dad.  I would talk to him, rub his hair, hold his hand.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to see someone you love laying there helpless and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it?  But, God is good.  The power of prayer is awesome.  It says in the Bible, ask and you shall receive.  Now, I realize, this doesn't mean ask for a million dollars and you'll get it.  I've never prayed so hard for anything in my life.  I prayed that my Dad would open his eyes and say, Hello Darlin' to me.  That's all I wanted.  None of us knew when they would take Dad out of sedation but we all prayed that when they did, he would be healed.  Our prayers were answered on Good Friday.  Dad's eyes were opened and he was ok.  He was going to be ok.  Prayer is amazing. 

Flash forward to February 2010 and another surgery only this time, my Grandfather.  What should have been a routine surgery turned into a plane ride to the Mayo clinic in Minnesota.  My Grandfather had died and evidently, God wasn't ready for him just yet.  He collasped at home and my Grandmother performed cpr on him until the rescue squad arrived.  After many, many days of trying to find out what had happened and why so that the doctor's could fix it, we found out that he had a blocked artery and that the blockage had shifted blocking bloodflow to his heart.  He would need immediate surgery and a shunt put in.  Not just any shunt though, he'd need a special shunt that had yet been approved.  I traveled to Iowa to spend time with my Grandmother after Grandpa had been released from the Mayo Clinic and put into a rehab facility and I'll never forget the way my Grandma behaved.  I saw a side of my Grandma that I'd never seen.  She's always been the strong one and here now, I could see it in her eyes, it was fear of the unknown.  Grandma and I had many private talks that weekend.  I remember walking into the den to watch tv one evening and looking at the recliner that Grandpa had collasped in.  I was scared to touch it.  Why?  I don't know.  What I do know is, once again, the power of prayer was awesome.  I learned a lot about my Grandma's spirtiual side that weekend.  Even though I was there with her due to circumstances none of us ever want to experience again, I wouldn't trade that weekend with my Grandma for the world.  I will cherish the private conversations and the closeness we shared forever.  Seeing my Grandma's constant faith made me proud to be her granddaugher and impressed upon me that constant faith and prayer is vital in any spiritual path regardless of what God has planned.

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  I guess because I want you to see the platform on which I have built my faith and why my faith has gotten stronger.  Things happen in life that cause you to take pause and see the bigger picture.  God's plan isn't known by us.  If it was, would I have moved away from Virginia to Indiana?  Furthermore, would I have moved from Indiana where I was beginning to feel comfortable and was making friends to Georgia where I know no one?  I find myself struggling these days trying to fit into this new area that Chris absolutely loves.  Chris gets energized by the beach.  The sound, the smell, the sand...he loves it.  He loves living in Savannah.  He loves his job, he's happy and content.  The only problem is, me.  I'm having a hard time adjusting.  I don't have a focus to jump head over heels into.  So, with that in mind, I've decided to change my blog slightly.  I know everyone enjoys reading it for the Evoy updates but I feel that in order for me to maintain faith in this journey God has put me on, I have to change my focus of this blog.  I feel in my heart that God sees me struggling and has purposed me with writing daily on my faith, scriptures, my spiritual path, etc.  The idea first came to me when I was driving Matthew to school this morning.  It had to have been an idea planted by God and I intend to see where this idea leads me.  I know that I need to be stronger in my faith daily and not just when it suits me.  I need to spend more time with God being still and listening.  Maybe this is his way of allowing me time to be silent and enjoy his company.  God works in mysterious ways.  He's done it time and time again in my life, I reckon it's time for me to just Be Still and Know that He is God.