Thankful for the "It never happened" moments

It's that time of year again...can you believe it??  Entering into the holiday hoopla season and already I'm seeing so many posts about what people are thankful for as we enter the season of Thanksgiving.  It dawned on me though, we are always so thankful for the things that have happened in our lives but aren't there times that we should be thankful for the moments that never happened?  I know, sounds like a crazy concept but think about it.  I'm sure each of us can think of a moment or even moments in our lives that something didn't work out the way we intended or even wanted.  In those moments we were probably questioning God as to why?  Why didn't he step in and fix it?  Why didn't he do what I wanted him to do?  Why didn't he answer my prayer?  But if you look back on those moments in time, God's hand orchestrated the entire situation.

In Romans 8:28 it says, and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  So if we know that God uses everything we bring to him to our good, shouldn't we be thankful for the moments that never were?  Those moments that didn't turn out how we thought they should?  With this in mind, I would like to create a list of all "those moments that never happened".  Because in those moments you can truly see the hand of God.  In those moments I feel we are drawn closer to the one who loves us because we are his children. 

Joni Eareckson Tada is quoted in saying, "God has His reasons.  He has His purposes.  Ours is an intentional God, brimming over with the motive and mission.  He never does things capriciously or decides with the flip of a coin."  How sweet life is when we can look back and see God's plan was so much better than ours.  How faithful is our Father in heaven.  Even though we are sinners, he still loves us and wants His plan for us.

So, without further delay, here's my list of a few "it never happened moments" for this Thanksgiving season.  My list of never happened that I want to cherish and  praise God for.  Because without this list, I would not be where I am today.  I would not be who I am today.  I would not be growing closer to God today.

1. Thankful it took Chris 4 months to secure employement in 2009- without that 4 months of learning to trust in God, we would not be on the path we are today.  We would have never left our "safe net" and stepped out on faith.  We wouldn't have lost everything in an effort to be more focused on God instead of "stuff".  We wouldn't have been brought to Savannah and have all the blessings that we have been given here.

2. Thankful for the amicable divorce of my first marriage- if I hadn't had the strength and courage from my Father in heaven to step out as a single parent, I would have missed out on the blessing of this second marriage.  Today I can proudly say I am married to my best friend, the spiritual leader in my household, a man that cherishes me everyday and lets me be Jennifer.  Marriage is so much sweeter when God is at the center of it.  I'm thankful for the lesson and the timing.

3.  Thankful that God knows when to heal and when to bring our loved ones home.- Ok, let me clarify that not a day goes by that I don't think about my loved ones in heaven but imagine what life could have been like if they were still suffering here on earth.  Imagine the pain that the we, their family around them, would be experiencing.  Even though prayers were answered differently than we all anticipated, our loved ones are home.  They are celebrating with Jesus in heaven.  They are whole and healthy and looking their finest.   God's timing is perfect.

4.  Thankful for lack of job opportunities.-  I've only been a stay at home mom since 2010 and I still try to force things into place.  I still keep my eyes open for opportunities to help with the family budget but because that hasn't worked out, I've been able to spend more time serving God.  I am better utilizing my time at The Lighthouse at church and with BSF.  I walk away from serving and feel at peace and happy and full of such joy.  If God had worked out a job, I would be stuck behind a computer all day missing out on opportunities to love and pray with people.  God's purpose is perfection.

5.  Thankful for the rifts within our family- while these broken relationships are just that, broken, it's an opportunity to share God's love and compassion.  It's an opportunity to pray for someone other than what I want.  It's an opportunity to see God's glorious healing in his divine and impeccable timing.


One of my favorite verses is in Jeremiah, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just knowing that in everything, God is there.  That God's plan is perfect.  That God wants the best for his children.  That in and of itself is enough for me to look back over my life and thank him for all the I didn't gets, the have nots, the missed out of, the never happened moments.  I am so unworthy of such grace and love but in God's eyes, I am so worthy of so much more.

Lord, You have a plan for my life that is grander than I can ever imagine.  Today, I ask that I be reminded that Your purposes and Your will are best for me.  When I am confused, give me clarity.  When I am frightened, give me courage and strength..  Let me be Your faithful servant, always keeping my eyes focused on you and always seeking Your guidance for my life.  Let Your light shine within me regardless of my circumstances, my frustrations, or my struggles.  I praise You Lord for Your mercy, Your compassion, and most of all Your grace.  And I thank you Lord, for Your perfect timing and perfect plan for my life.  Today and always.  Amen

Give it Up!

Recently I have been frustrated and discouraged.  Over the littlest things....the balance in our checkbook, family members choices, the age and behavior of our dog, my bangs...some things goofier than others.  However, this morning, I hit a button on my phone that lead me to a reminder...

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Right there, it hit me, do not be discouraged.  God is with me through it all.  So why am I allowing the devil to get a foothold in on my life?  Why am I not trusting God when he has written for me to see that he has commanded me to be strong and courageous.  Commanded me to not be afraid or discouraged.  I am a child of God, I have a protector and provider unlike any other.

God's protection and provision is faithful.  It's promised over and over again in the Bible.

For example, here are a few of my favorite verses to remind me just how strong and good our God is.  I've inserted my name as my reminder to me personally but as you read this, put your name in that spot and hear God's promises for you.

(Jennifer), you can do all things through Christ who strengthen you. (Philippians 4:13)

(Jennifer), I will supply all your needs.  (Philippians 4:19)

(Jennifer), after you have suffered a little while, I Myself will perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)

(Jennifer), do not fear, I am with you.  Do not anxiously look around.  Surely I will help you. (Isaiah 41:10)


Time and time again, I am reminded that regardless how dark the road ahead may look, my God will brighten it.  No matter how empty the checking account appears, my God will provide what I need.  No matter what choices my family may make, my God will guide me to be strong for them.  No matter what discouragement I may be experiencing, my God will help me.  He will perfect me, confirm me, strengthen me, and establish me.  My God is always faithful, always loving, always compassionate, and above all, always walking with me.

It is in times of trials and frustrations that we must pray to God.  It says in Philippians, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I want this peace that God has offered to me.  I know that my God is big enough to hold all my worries, anxieties, frustrations, and discouragements.  I know that my God will use all situations to my good.  I need to stop looking at the circumstances surrounding me and instead, fix my eyes upon God.  God doesn't bring me discouragement or frustrations, but he brings me through it.  God is the beacon of light and hope on the other side.  He is steadfast and patient.  He carries me when I am too weak to walk alone.  Is there anything sweeter than knowing you are loved that much?  Absolutely not!

Heavenly Father- today I find myself caught up in the circumstances here on earth.  I am discouraged, frustrated, worried, and anxious.  I give those burdens to you Lord.  I ask that you continue to walk with me, continue to strengthen me, and continue to love me through all the storms of life.  Lord, you alone are my salvation and you alone can use all my circumstances for good.  I ask that you help me to keep my eyes focused on you Lord so that I may be constantly reminded that you are who you say you are and will do what you say you will do.  Most importantly, I ask for your peace that transcends all understanding.  Peace that I no longer worry over things that You can and will handle.  I praise you!  In Your sweet name, Amen.

Answers to Prayer

A few of you know the prayer I said to God the day Matthew left for camp.  I sat in my van at the church and asked for safe travels, and an awesome experience but more importantly, I asked God to stir something inside of Matthew while he was gone.  After having spent a week with his biological father, Matthew was doing some questioning of his own faith.  It breaks my heart to know he was experiencing this but I know exactly how he felt because I've been there.  My prayer request wasn't fancy or filled with big words, it was simple...draw Matthew closer to you oh Lord.  Amen.

A little while later, while grocery shopping, I felt this peace come over me.  This feeling of something settling on my chest yet it wasn't an uneasy feeling within me, just calming peace.  It was as if God was telling me, he's got it.  And with that, I waited with anticipation for Matthew to come home from camp to see just what this new excitement for God would be.


So I'm sure you are all sitting here reading this blog and wondering, well, what happened....all I can say is, God is Good...

Matthew came back on Friday night with this newness surrounding him.  As soon as I hugged him, I could just sense the Holy Spirit filling him.  I have always been a firm believer in prayer but to see it be answered like this fills my heart with joy.  We were sitting in the worship center and watching 31 teens get baptized.  31 kids from camp had made the decision to put their life in God's hands.  And in watching Matthew's reaction to those kids, he was excited for each of them.  He shared a few high-fives with some close friends, as if welcoming them into the family of God.  And then, a song came on the overhead  speaker....

Jesus Paid It All        (click on link to left to hear song)

With this song, Matthew leaned over and told me about a few highlights with camp.  One evening, one of the Student Ministry Pastors gave a message on being bold.  Standing up for God even when those around you are questions.  Standing up for God in the midst of choas.  Standing up for God because he loves you.  Powerful words for anyone to hear and Matthew drank them in.  Then, the Student Worship Leader gave a prayer.  A prayer that had words from God that Matthew needed to hear.  Words that built up confidence in Matthew to then seek out his leader and talk.  Moments later, Matthew was talking to his student leader.  I asked Matthew if his leader took the time he needed to speak and Matthew replied, "I felt like I was the only thing that mattered when we were talking".  Praise God!  Matthew hasn't shared everything he and Ed talked about but he's shared enough for me to gleem a few tidbits.

I learned that Matthew was questioning his faith because he feels like a sinner all the time.  He was questioning if God could really forgive him even though he had been baptized.  It breaks my heart to think Matthew has been walking around with this burden but I praise God for Ed's words.  Ed reminded Matthew that we get new mercies everyday. 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Matthew was reminded that even though we stray from God at times, God never strays from us.  We may get busy and forget but God never does.  And because we are a child of the most high King, we are forgiven.  We must continue to have faith and put our trust in God.  Hebrews 11:1, To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.  Ed said words to Matthew that God impressed upon his heart.  Words that match what I have told Matthew all along.  I feel so very blessed that Matthew has these strong leaders in his life and that he feels confident to step up and talk to them when he is unable to talk to his parents.

Matthew had an incredible week at camp.  He came home with his heart on fire for God.  His arms open to receive His unending love.  His hands raised high in praise to Him.  I couldn't have asked for a sweeter answer to prayer.  It brought tears to my eyes to hear him tell me about his week at camp. 

Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 4

Camp Collide 2013     (click on link to left to see a video of camp)

Father, I praise you.  You are good to your children.  You never leave us or forsake us.  You are steadfast and love us without end.  I thank you Lord for the time Matthew spent at camp.  I thank you for his safety, for his experience, and most of all for the answer to prayer in his growth.  Please continue to stir this new light in Matthew so that he may use it to continue to walk with you, to grow closer to you, to trust in you fully.  I love you Lord and it's in Your strong name I pray.  Amen.

Let Your Words Be....

We are currently working through a series at our church on the Modern Family.
 http://savannahchristian.com/henderson

We've looked at all parts of our families.  The messy parts, the relationships, the conflicts, and our words.  Pastor Cam recently did a message on our words.  It hit home for me and I wanted to share with my blogging family.  I put my words to the test last week and marveled at the difference it made in my household.  Let me further explain.

Our words are important.  Much more important than any of us could ever realize.  They have the ability to build people up or if they are hurtful, tear people down.  "Nothing has more potential for both good and bad as our tongue."- Pastor Cam Huxford.  I'm sure you've heard of "The Golden Rule", So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you...Matthew 7:12.  If we are going to chose to live by this rule, then we must be careful to ensure that our words are those of love, encouragement, hope, and truth.  Here's a few points that Pastor Cam brought out. 

1.  Let Your Words Be Few!

• Don't over talk the ones around you.  If you are talking to much, maybe you need to stop and let someone else step in.  However, on the flip side, if you don't talk enough, jump in there!   If everyone in the family is led to think their perspective is valuable, then everyone feels loved and valued.  Avoid angry outbursts.  No longer allow impulsive outpourings and tantrums.  Instead, speak words of encouragement and hope.

2. Let Your Words Be True.

• Don't be a liar.  The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. Proverbs 12:22.  Lying starts early in childhood.  Lying = Consequences.  As Marie T. Freeman has been quoted of saying, "When you talk, choose the very same words that you would use if Jesus were looking over your shoulder.  Because He is." 

3.  Let Your Words Be Gentle.

• Pastor Cam reminded us to think of our tongue as a thermastat that can control our home.  This is the one I truly took to heart last week.  As stated in Proverbs 15:1, A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger.  We need to avoid tension and anger in our daily conversations.  Instead, re-direct a tough conversation.  "Help me understand."  Our words can often time create more anger, more frustration, and more evil.  In Ephesians 4:29, it is written, No rotten talk should come from your mouth, be only what is good for the building up of someine in need, in order to give grace to those who hear.

4.  Let Your Words Be Life- Giving.

• Words can change people.  They can fill a heart with gladness.  They can give strength to the weak.  They can encourage.  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones, Proverbs 16:24.  It is best to remember these life-giving phrases:

I believe in you. 

I trust in you.

I need you.

I'm proud of you.

I respect you.

I love you.

Who do you need to say these words to today?  I've spent the last week taking more time with my words with Matthew.  I've tried very hard to let my words be few, to let my words be true, to let my words be gentle, and most importantly, to let my words to him be life-giving.  I've made sure to tell him that I trust him.  I believe in him. And above all else, that I love him.  Because of my change in my words, I've been able to see the changes in our relationship.  Gone last week were the tensions and frustrations I often felt raising a teenager.  There weren't any arguements, any comments under the breath as Matthew walked away.  Instead, there was laughing, joking, smiles, and hugs.  Pastor Cam opened my eyes to what God wants us to do with our words.  It doesn't seem like a big change, but it is.  "Words are a primary vehicle God has given you to communicate your love to your family.  Words matter!"- Pastor Cam Huxford.

So I ask you, what words do you need to change?  Who needs to hear those changes in your words?  A few small changes to your vocabulary can move mountains within your relationships.  Are you up for the challenge?  Just imagine how much more pleasant your home could be with the right words.

Heavenly Father, you have warned me that I will be judged by the words I speak.  You have commanded me to choose my words carefully so that I may be a source of encourangement and love to all I speak to.  Keep me mindful of my words, Lord, and that I have influence over many.  I want to be an influence for good.  And may the words that leave my mouth today be a source of love, grace, and worthy of the One who has saved me.  Amen.

The Blessings in Life

Every Thursday morning I drive Matthew to school, head to Dunkin Donuts for a bagel and coffee and then head to my church to meet up with some of the best ladies I know.  Since January of 2012, we have been a steady group supporting each other, encouraging each other, and growing in our faith together.  This spring, we started a new study...1,000 Gifts.

Ann Voskamp wrote a book on 1,000 gifts from God.  These aren't just any gifts, these are the everyday gifts we sometimes fail to see because we are so consumed with the darkness around us.  But as Ann has taught me, it is in the darkest times that God is closest.  "In the tough moments, we need to pray with our eyes open, seeing God's grace and blessings in that moment." (Ann Voskamp)  That being said, our fearless leader for all our studies, my dear friend, Kim, has challenged us to come up with 1,000 gifts.  She's even given each of us a little notebook to journal these all in.  For this blog, I would like to take the opportunity to list a few of my gifts then I want to challenge YOU to start your own list.  There are gifts in everything.  How do you want to live life?  Wouldn't it be so much sweeter to see things as Christ sees them?  "Christ's fingerprints are on everything", "Slow down and surrender to the 1,000 gifts God gives us everyday." 

We all have hurts.  We all have "potholes" in life that have defined who we are.  But we  have a choice to live a life filled with joy and grace that is given freely by God.  God desires to fill even our deepest potholes with his love.  Each of those moments shaped us,  molded us, impacted our lives.

When I was ten years old, my family moved from Iowa to Virginia.  We moved away from family, friends, comfortable surroundings to a place that was different and with no one we knew.  I remember feeling alone, scared to try my new school, sad to be leaving my Grandparents.  But God gave me grace.  At 10 years old, I don't think I understood what grace was but God was with me.  Through that experience, I was better prepared to help my son when we moved from Virginia to Indiana, then Indiana to Georgia.  I was better equipped to guide him, give him support, help him to make friends, build up his confidence in attending a new school with strange faces. 

When I was 27 years old, I gave birth to my son.  I found myself alone and going through a divorce.  I was scared, unsure of my self, and fearful of the future.  But God gave me grace through that moment.  He gave me the perfect gift from a "pothole" in my life.  He blessed me with Matthew.  Today I am so  much stronger, more independent, and have savored every moment of my son's life.  I have been truly blessed with a husband who supports me, challenges me, encourages me, and loves me.  Through the darkest time, God was there protecting me with his hand.



When I was 36 years old, my dad almost died.  I remember the fear of watching his heart stop in front of me.  I remember the shouts from the nurses.  I remember the look of panic on my mother's face.  I remember questioning God and being angry.  But God gave me grace to walk through that moment.  God opened my eyes and showed me to trust him.  God gave me the strength to be strong when my mother couldn't.  God gave me the endurance to be at the hospital everyday until my dad was taken out of his coma.  Through the shadow of death, God was there, walking with me, carrying me at times.

We all have these moments that are sewn into our being, forever with us.  But it's how we use these moments, how we see these moments that truly signifies the grace that God has blessed us with.  Even in these hard and dark moments, "God is always Good and I am always loved", Ann Voskamp.

What will  you write on your list?  What will you begin to notice as joy in your life?  What will you suddenly see differently as if seeing it through the eyes of Christ?  Here's a few of my blessings and gifts of grace....

1. dirty laundry
2. wet dog kisses
3.  a wink from my husband from across a crowded room
4.  an unmade bed
5.  secrets shared with my son
6.  the smell of Matthew after a shower
7. chats with my Gramma
8. an unexpected text message
9.  running water
10.  a healthy child
11. My Grampa's Bible
12.  a soaring bird overhead
13. the sound of a train passing by
14. pictures to capture special moments
15.  being a stay at home Mom
16.  heat from the sun on my skin
17.  curtains blowing in the breeze
18.  sleeping with the windows open
19.  chatting online with my step-son, Jonathan
20.  safe travel mercies
21.  the soft breathing from my sleeping husband
22.  bird's nests
23.  meow's saying good morning
24.  an empty lunch box
25.  having to buy a larger size of clothing for Matthew
26.  supporting parents
27.  help from friends
28.  silliness for no reason
29.  leftovers
30.  fresh cut grass
31.  celebrating birthdays
32.  sharing popcorn at the movies
33.  hearing the dog lapping up water
34.  sound of meat as it hits the hot oil on the stove
35.  acne on my teenage son's face
36.  dirty dishes
37.  laughing with family
38.  calls from my favorite 5 year old niece
39.  sun in my eyes
40. hearing the words, I love you...
41.  hugs
42.  holding hands
43.   your coffee mug left out for you when you wake up
44. fishing
45. a tomato ripening on the window sill
46. sleeping late
47. snores from your son
48. the marsh smell in the morning
49.  knowing the answer to a question
50. a paycheck


Your turn....

My Savior Died for Me

Any God loving Christian knows that this weekend is considered Passion Weekend.  It's the weekend we celebrate the sacrifice Christ made for us so that we may live eternally with Him in heaven.  Easter is my most favorite of holidays.  Not because you get to dye eggs or you get a visit from the Easter Bunny but rather because it is a time for me to be renewed and reflect on the death of my Savior for me.  Yet death did not stop him, for three days later, he ascended into heaven. 

Every year as we enter this season, I am in awe of my God.  I could not imagine what it must have been like to watch your son be treated the way he was.  I look at my son and the very thought of him being picked on, spit on, slapped, beaten, hurt, it just breaks my heart.  I'm his mother, I want to protect him.  Yet, God let Christ's crucifixtion happen.  I couldn't imagine being Mary and sitting at the feet of my son as he hung on that cross.  I'm in tears just writing this.

Matthew and I recently watched the movie, The Passion of the Christ.  I'll be honest, when it was first released several years ago, I refused to watch it.  I didn't want to see it.  I wasn't ready to face the reality of what had happened.  And with Matthew being so young, he wasn't ready either.  But last week, it just felt like it was time to live through the pain Christ suffered.  The entire movie was in another language and so Matthew and I had to read the subtitles but I can honestly tell you, you didn't need to understand what they were saying to know what was happening.  I was concerned with Matthew's reaction to the graphic scences.  I was prepared for questions after we watched it.  Matthew sat without moving a muscle during the entire movie.  I'm not even sure he blinked.  I sat there like a weeping child, hurting for my Lord.  I wanted to reach through the tv and make them stop flogging Jesus.  I wanted to nurse his wounds.  I wanted the Roman Soldiers to stop mocking him.  Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that God already had this played out.  God knew how and why and when these things would happen.  Jesus knew.  It is listed only one time in the Bible where Jesus drops to his knees in prayer and it's because Jesus hurt for what he had to do.

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed,  “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.  And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.  Luke 22:41-44.

Have you ever prayed so hard for anything that sweat fell off you like drops of blood falling to the ground?  Have you ever been in such anquish that an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened you?  I could never imagine the pain that God must have felt knowing that his son was asking for a change and yet, God's will had to be done.

As we enter into this passion weekend, I hope that you will take time to remember the sacrifice Christ made for you.  I hope that you will take a moment of pause to realize that Christ felt every bit of pain he endured so that we may live eternally.  Christ was without sin and yet, he suffered because of our sin. 

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.  Isaiah 53:7

 It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. Luke 23:44-46


Jesus was obedient even while being mocked.  Jesus was obedient even while being beaten.  Jesus was obedient even while being nailed to the cross.  Jesus trusted his Father with his last breath.  Jesus endured all of this for us.  His blood has made us white as snow.

“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.  Isaiah 1:18


And with that...Jesus arose into heaven.  Jesus fulfilled the scriptures just as it had been written by God. On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,  but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.  While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them.  In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee:  ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ”  Then they remembered his words. Luke 24:1-8

That my beloved friends is reason to celebrate this Easter.  It is reason to trust in God's promises.  It is reason to be obedient.  It is reason to drop to your knees and pray.  Pray to a God who hears his children and loves them so much that he would sacrifice his only son. 

May the peace of Christ's love and sacrifice be with you during this Easter season.  And if you haven't already claimed him as your Lord and Savior who died for you, may you be obedient and bold and join me in the light of Christ for there is no other place I would rather be. 

Fear is NOT an option

It is always easier to praise God when we are experiencing those mountaintop moments of life.  It's as if during those times, we can truly feel God near us and walking with us.  And we aren't ashamed to give him the glory for those moments.  But, as I have recently experienced a sense of fear in my own life and family, do we praise God in our lives when we are in the valleys? 

God wants a one-on-one relationship with each one of us and when we have nurtured and made time for that relationship, those valleys won't seem so deep.  I know, it's easier said than done but it's something that even I need a reminder of.  If we genuinely trust God's Word and we truly believe it, why do we live in fear?  Why are we not living as courageous people knowing that God's armor and protection is all around us?   Christ has already dealt with any fear, worry, anxiety, distress, everything, on the cross.  It's nailed to the CROSS.  It's not our burden to carry anymore and yet, even as faithful followers, we continue to carry those fears.  And carrying those burdens makes it all the more easier for Satan to test our courage.  It makes it all the more easier for Satan to fill our minds with doubt and succumb to the worries and the unknowns.  God never said the path would be easy, he never promised we would never be tested, but he has promised to walk with us, never forsaking us, never failing us.

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 41:10 which says, So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

God tells us directly not to fear!  Not to be worried or upset.  In Deuteronomy it clearly tells us, The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8.  If God is telling us to trust in him in all times of fear, then we need to buck up and do it.  Gloria Gaither is quoted as saying, "With each new experience of letting God be in control, we gan courage and reinforcement for daring to do it again and again."   

God is always there listening to our thoughts and prayers, watching our every move.  If the demands of the moment are wearing you down, we are too often tempted to forget to turn our eyes up.  God's hand is big enough to hold every worry we have.  And if we acknowledge his presence and his greatness, and his power, he has the opportunity to reach down inside us and touch our hearts.  HE has the ability to restore our courage.  God is asking us to live abundantly and courageously through HIM.  "Jesus Christ can make the weakest man into a divine dreadnought, fearing nothing." - Oswald Chambers.

So my dear friends who devotedly follow this blog, what will you do when you find yourself where I find myself today?  Will you ask yourself if you are ready to place your concerns and your life in God's loving hands?  Will you do as I did yesterday at church and release your burden and fear to God.  Will you stop being selfish and trying to control every aspect of your life and instead, let God lead for He does know what is best for your life?  If you can let go and let God, then when fear is standing on your doorstep, you can find comfort and strength in knowing for certain that God is standing right behind you.  He's already aware and he's already working on strengthening you.  And through trusting in God and the love and support of family and friends, you can overcome.  You WILL overcome.  And with each new day, you will become stronger and more trusting. 

Heavenly Father, oh faithful one, at times in my life, I face challenges and situations that leave me worried, afraid, and fearful for what is to come.  When I am fearful. let me seek Your strength.  When I am anxious Lord, please give me faith.  Keep my eyes focused on You, and remind me that You are my God.  You will never fail or forsake me.  You are by my side Lord through everything and through you, I have nothing to fear today, tomorrow, or in the future.  I praise you Lord, for with the storms comes blessings.  I will praise you in these storms Lord for you are by my side.  It is in Your strong name I pray.  Amen

A Simple Conversation...

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband?  When God placed us on the same path, oh the plan he had for us.  Not only is Chris my best friend, he is my constant rock.  We've been married nine years and we can still sit across the table from each other and have a simple conversation that leads to the strengthening of our relationship.  Take this past weekend for example.  We don't (or at least try not to) spend a lot of money on ourselves but this weekend, we went out to dinner Friday night and lunch Saturday and Sunday.  No, this is by no means the norm and is not the expectation for either of us but sometimes, you just need time to sit and talk.  We needed some time for us to enjoy each others company.  Now, in my defense, Friday nights splurge was due to our anniversary.  But getting back to the point...

I treasure the conversations I can have with my husband.  I look forward to hearing his responses to my questions and concerns.  I find comfort in knowing that  he is genuinely interested in what we are talking about and that he hears what I am saying and can give me the right amount of support. 

Today's conversation was about legacy's.  It all started when we were discussing church services this weekend.  Pastor Cam asked us to think about one person we could pray for that would find Jesus.  As I was sitting in the worship center, one name came upon me, was impressed upon my heart.  Jon-boy.  It was as if my MIL, Sue, was whispering it to me as a reminder that this is a relationship in progress with Jon.  Jon is always on my mind and always on my heart.  Jon-boy is what she used to call him and that is what I wrote on the prayer wall.  I shared this with Chris expecting him to look at me like I was crazy, but he didn't.  I went on to share how whenever we talk about Sue, I admire her legacy she left behind.  Not every story Chris remembers or shares is wonderful, happy, or heartwarming but regardless, he knew what his Mom stood for.  He knew she loved him.  He knew she would be there for anything he needed.  And even though he thought for years she was so strict, he respects her for that and loves her even more.  I want that type of legacy for Matthew.  I want Matthew to look back over his life with me and say, my mom was so strong.  My mom loved me no matter what.  My mom may have been strict at the time but everything she did was out of love.  I want that legacy for me.  And as I'm sharing all this with Chris, he just smiled and said, you are writing the pages of that legacy with Matthew every day.  Oh how I love him so.  He sees more than I do when I look over my relationship with Matthew.  Matthew is more difficult now than he was when he was a little boy.  He's a young man now full of independence and viewpoints and opinions.  I want him to be raised as a strong Christian man and so to get that, if it means I have to be a little harder on him to inflict proper dicipline, than that's what I have to do. 

Not every memory any of us have are great.  We all have those "ghosts" in the closet that we want to forget.  But those memories are what contributed to what we are today.  I admire my husband for acknowledging that his life has never been  perfect and neither was his Mom but at the bottom of it all, there was love and compassion.  My relationships aren't all roses and ice cream, but there is love and compassion at the root of each one of them.

I've noticed that instead of us discussing frivilous things when we find ourselves alone together, we are talking about how great God has been to us.  How much we can see God's blessings in our lives.  How God is working to mold us and shape us daily. 

I am so proud to be married to a man that puts God first in his life.  A man that desires more than anything to be the spiritual leader in our home.  A man that takes God with him into his work place.  A man that lives by the scriptures.  And yeah, my man still has his faults but at the root of him, at his deep inner soul, there's God.  And with God walking with him, well, that's a legacy that I want to be a part of.


Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of his body. 

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:21-33

Love you always Grampa

February 8, 2012

Robert E. ‘Bob’ Foster

AnonymousClinton HeraldThe Clinton HeraldWed Feb 08, 2012, 10:42 AM CST

CLINTON — Robert E. “Bob” Foster, age 81, of Clinton, died Thursday, January 26, 2012, at the Clarissa Cook Hospice House in Bettendorf. A private family funeral will be held on Saturday, February 11, 2012, at the Pape Funeral Home. Burial will be in Clinton Lawn Cemetery. Casket bearers will be his grandchildren.

Bob was born in St. Joseph, Missouri, on December 4, 1930, the son of Lee and Evelyn (Freeman) Foster. He graduated from Central High School in St. Joseph in 1949. From August 1951 to August 1953, Bob served with the 82nd Airborne Division with the U.S. Army, trained as a paratrooper. He married Lavern Fry on December 15, 1951, in St. Joseph. Bob worked as an agent with Prudential Life Insurance Company for 31 years retiring in 1991. He was a member of the First Baptist Church, Order of the Eastern Star #65 and was a 50-year member of the Scottish Rite, Kaaba Shrine and Lyons Masonic Lodge #93.

Bob is survived by his wife, Lavern; a daughter, Beth (Bruce) Johnson of Richmond, Virginia; a son, Keevin (Christy) Foster of Camanche; seven grandchildren, Jennifer (Chris) Evoy, Charlotte Smith, Christopher (Krystal) Johnson, Gregory (Ashley) Johnson, Abbi (Joel) Triphan, Molli (John) Bachenberg and Tony (Marisa) Foster and ten great-grandchildren.

He was preceded in death by his parents, two brothers and a great-grandson.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be made to the Shriners Hospitals for Children, First Baptist Church or the charity of your choice. Online condolences can be left at www.papefh.com.

Death date: Jan. 26, 2012

Already a year...

Gramma, Grampa, and Me when I was 4 days old

Last year this time, we were preparing for trips to New Jersey and Iowa to bury two very important people in our lives.  On this, the one year mark since they were welcomed into heaven, I thought I'd share a few stories that my Grampa used to share with me.  I have to say, I really didn't think that the pain would still be there a year later but I guess that just shows how much I loved my Grampa.

My Grandparents were married in December of 1951 just before my Grampa was to be transferred to North Carolina in the services.  My Gramma decided to marry him and make the trip with him.  She had no idea this would be one of many cross country trips they would make in their married life. 

Grampa was a paratrooper and was stationed in Fort Bragg, NC.  They lived in a small home that was shared with another couple so this way, the rent was cheap.  I can remember my Grampa telling me about how all the men in his company knew he had a wife at home who could cook.  So Grampa would make a deal with them, if they bought all the food, he'd get Gramma to cook it BUT, he and Gramma got to keep any leftovers!  Even now as I write this story, I can recall the twinkle of cleverness in Grampa's eyes.  So with the deal made, he went home to tell Gramma that he was having the guys over, and oh yeah, your cooking!  LOL....I can just see this conversation playing over and over in my head....

But it didn't stop there. Grampa had a car when no one else in his company did.  So, tricky Grampa, used this to his advantage.  The men wanted to go to the drive in movies.  OK, not a big deal, right?  Well, Grampa decided, I'll drive but you have to pay for me and my wife and the gas.  (there's that twinkle in the eye again)  I love how my Grampa would laugh whenever he shared this story.  He thought it was so funny that he just had to show up and drive the car and not spend a dime!

Grampa and Me

I can sit here and remember all the little things Grampa used to say.  Whenever I called and he answered, I'd always get a "Hi there Sweetie".  Whenever he told a "fish" story, the fish would get longer and longer with each story.  I recall all the inside jokes we used.  I can remember each time going to visit, walking through the back door, Grampa sitting at the kitchen table, and me kissing him hello on the top of his head.  I remember him always having certs breath mints in his pocket.  He always wore his suspenders so his pants wouldn't fall down.  And one time, I remember him getting so irritated with me because I had secretly taken his jar of peanuts and sucked the salt off of each one.  He couldn't understand why the jar said salted when they clearly weren't.  Yep, I liked the salt, not the peanut!  I can remember going with him one time when he went out to pick up deer meat and watching him interact with his hunting friends and seeing an entirely different side of my Grampa.  I can still see him at the stove helping fix dinner and taking little bites of the ground beef before it's cooked and saying, "Mmmm, good" and me freaking out because it's still raw.  And I love hearing the stories of how his own Mom couldn't cook.  She'd overcook green beans and kill a perfectly good steak which is one of the attributes he loved in my Gramma, her good cookin'.  Oh, and his LOVE for chocolate.  I laugh because I see this same love of chocolate in Matthew.  He is his Great-Grampa's boy alright.  Chocolate cake, chocolate milk shakes, chocolate ice cream, fudge, chocolate anything!

Me trying to teach Grampa how to drive

I have a ton of memories all tucked away in my heart, some more personal than others.  But I can say, I was a Grampa's girl.  I loved being with him, watching him, listening to him, I just loved him.  He was one of the strongest, most dedicated people I ever knew. 




Me and Grampa

Gramma gave me his pocket Bible (that I never even knew he carried) last year after his funeral.  It is one of my most treasured belongings.  I love to hold it and feel the worn cover.  I love the way it smells.  I love the little notes he'd written in it.  I love how he had a index sheet tucked in it with the steps to bring someone to Christ.  I love knowing that this Bible was carried in my Grampa's pocket and that he was a good, God fearing, Christian man.  Most of all, I love that a lot of the verses he has marked in his Bible, I had the same ones in mine.  My favorite though is a notation he made in Acts.

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

 Acts 16:31

I have confidence in my heart that Grampa is in heaven enjoying the light of Christ.  Savoring every minute and sitting there with Jesus retelling stores with that twinkle in his eye. I know in my heart that my Grampa was saved.  He believed in Christ Jesus and because he ran his home and family this way, we will meet again at the gates of heaven.  Oh how marvelous it will be.  We will all look our best, feel our best, and be so filled with the Light of Christ we will sing and dance.  I imagine Grampa at his finest.  His hair wavy and full.  His hands stronger and his step quicker.  This is the image I carry in my heart.  My Grampa, at his finest, watching over me until it is time for me to come home and then, that's when I'll hear him say, "Hi there sweetie"....

Matthew and Grampa
(Matthew was 5 weeks old)

A New Chapter Begins...

Thirteen years ago today, I made the trip to the hospital filled with the anticipation of knowing that within hours, my son would be in my arms.  Knowing that I would be able to look at him and memorize every feature.  I would be able to see his eyes and dream of all the possiblities life had in store for him.  Thirteen years ago today my life changed in a way I never thought possible.  Today is Matthew's 13th Birthday and with that comes a new chapter in our lives.

I can still remember everything about that winter morning when labor began.  I can recall the exact moment I heard his first cry.  It's like it was just yesterday and yet it's been 13 years.  I don't know if I'm ready to be the Mom of a teenager.  But then, is it the teen years that I'm scared of, or rather, the fact that I'm faced to own up to the truth that Matthew isn't my little baby boy anymore.

Am I the only Mother who is torn between excitement for their new teenage child and utter fear of the future?  I'm having a  hard time dealing with the reality that my son is becoming an independent young man.  Gone are the days when I would walk into the room and his eyes would light up and he would run over to me, climb up in my lap, and wrap his arms around me.  Gone are the days where his hand fit so perfectly within mine and gave him security.  Gone are the days where only Mommy's kisses could cure a boo-boo.  Instead, I'm welcoming days of more independence, of loud music, of less time together and more time with his friends.  I'm not sure I'm ready for this.  But it's not about me is it?

God gifted me Matthew at a time in my life when no other gift could have been so great.  Matthew is the perfection that grew from a broken marriage.  Matthew is God's perfect creation.  Every hair on his head, God knows.  There is nothing Matthew can't do, with God by his side.  I want Matthew to grow up a responsible, independent, Christian young man.  But to grow up, then I have to begin to let go.  I have to be just as excited for this new chapter in Matthew's life as he is.  I have to trust that God is walking with us as we begin to take steps in this new direction.  I don't know what the future holds for Matthew but I do know that God will always be with him.

I know that every parent goes through these changes and every parent has to trust and have faith that we will all come out the other end alive and well.  It's an adjustment for all of us.  And whether I like it or not, I have to put aside my wants and live joyfully through Matthew's new journey.

Matthew, my son, the absolute sweetest boy in the world...I love you so much.  From the moment I first held you, I knew that God had given me you for a reason.  You have helped me to become strong, stronger than I ever thought I could be.  You have taught me patience when I thought I had no more to give.  You have shown me love like nothing I have ever experienced.  Even when we've had our tough Mother and Son patches, I have admired your strength and independence.  You have so much potential and can accomplish absolutely anything you put your mind to.  I pray for you everyday and hope that you will always put God first in your life.  Remember who you are, what you stand for, and who you represent.  Don't ever say you can't do something because with God's help, you can.  Don't ever give up because you are stronger than you think.  On the day you were born, God entrusted me with you and I knew that one day you would no longer "need" me like you used to.  You no longer need me to kiss your boo-boos, or to tuck you in, or to hold your hand when we cross the street.  Son, I know you are growing up and with every new day, I see you in a new way.  You are becoming a very strong and independent young man and I am very proud to be your Mother.  May today be as exciting for you as you've always dreamed it would be.  May today be the beginning of a new chapter in your life and may this chapter be filled with blessings from above.  Always remember that I will always be your Mother and that I will ALWAYS be right here whenever you need to hold my hand, crawl up in my lap, or have me kiss a boo-boo.  You are the most perfect thing I ever did in my life and I praise God that I was given you.  I couldn't ask for a better son and on this your 13th Birthday, I wish you a Happy Birthday with all the love I have in my heart.  I am so proud of you and I can't wait to continue on this journey of "teen years" together.  Love-Mom