They grow up too fast...

From the moment your child is born, you know they will eventually grow up.  It's a learning process that all Mom's have to go through.  You want your baby to stay your baby but you also want to see your child flourish with independence and maturity.  It's a daily struggle for any Mom watching her child grow up.

In a few days, Matthew will be done with elementary school.  This is a frightening thought for many parents, especially Moms.  To know that in a few short months, my little man will be entering the scary doors of middle school, ugh, my heart is breaking.

I can't believe that I've watched this child turn into a young man.  I can't believe he's 11 (and a half according to him) years old.  Where has the time gone???  It feels like just yesterday he was learning to walk and talk and still holding my hand.  These days, he's too grown for hand holding.  However, I have to say, I do still occassionally, when no one else is around, do get the bear hug and an I love you Mom.  My heart just melts when I hear it.

I often wonder how my  parents went through these transitions with four children.  I'm sure by the time they watched the first of the clan growing up, they were prepared for the last few to finish up.  I'm almost 40 and I still find myself needing my parents.  Growing up, regardless of how old you are, is always a transition for both the child and the adult. 

Our Pastor at church told us once during a sermon that when you are worrying, you are not trusting in God.  He's right.  If I'm worrying, I'm not having Faith that God will protect Matthew.  I'm not having Faith that God will be with Matthew while I'm not.  I have to let go and let God do his work.  I don't want to be one of those Mom's that's overbearing, that's not me.  I am overprotective but he's my only baby, I don't have a reason not to be.  Matthew, as I've said many thousands of times before, is my gift from heaven.  I want only the best for him and I know his true potential.  Yeah, he can be goofy and immature but he's an 11 year old boy.  He's my boy.

I can't thank my husband enough for giving me the opportunity to be home with Matthew every day.  I wish deep down in my heart that I could have had this opportunity when he was younger but then I question myself if we would have it so good now in our relationship.  I think God has a plan and this is the way God wanted it.  This is the time in Matthew's life where it is really gonna count that I'm home.  I'm the last one to see him off in the morning and the first one to hear about his day in the afternoon.  How marvelous is that?  How truly blessed am I?

I know that Matthew will do great in middle school.  He's got a good head on his shoulders and God in his heart.  He stands up for what he believes in and can make friends with anybody.  I need to stop playing the what if game.  What if he doesn't make any friends?  What if he eats lunch alone?  What if he gets lost?  Give it up and give it to God.  God will be with him on his first day while I can't.  He won't ever eat lunch alone, God will be eating with him.  And if he gets lost, God will guide him.  Matthew has a wonderful heart.  He wants the best for everyone.  I've raised a sensitive, smart, good lookin' kid.  A kid that knows what it means to give it up to God and who knows that he's never alone, God is by his side. 

This summer I'm going to treasure every moment I have with Matthew.  I'm going to enjoy his maturing and preparing for middle school.  I'm going to be excited with him.  I'm not going to let him see me sweat because there's nothing to sweat over.  He's moving onward and upward.  He's so excited and I'm excited for him.  And on that first day of 6th grade, I'll give him a fist bump and an I love you and send him on his way...and I'll wait anxiously for him to tell me all about his first day.  And I already know that his first day is gonna be "totally awesome", as Matthew would say!!!